Dear Myself 21 years ago, today...

Dear Myself  21 years ago today...
This is myself, 21 years later who speaks to you.

How are you? It is kinda hard to believe that 21 years has passed, isn't it? 
All i want to ask  you is 'How are you?'...is everything alright? do you still dealing with the pain? 
Please, don't say that you're alright because i know you don't. I know you are surrounded by pain, lies, anger, rejection, and people who judge you without knowing you at all, without understanding how you feel....i know you are still surrounded by those kind of things...

How are you? do you still feeling lonely? Please don't say that you're okay, because i know you don't. Just tell me the truth. You don't have to worry coz i still feel the same way. Eventhough 21 years has passed, i still can see and feel that pain. i can see that scars that'll never dissapear. 

However, i want to say thank you for surviving until right now...
I'm really sorry for treating you badly at those times...i kept blaming you, underestimating you, not loving you and treating you well...you must have been suffered a lot at those times....I'm sorry...I'm really sorry...

Thank you for being really really patient and strong....i even cannot imagine myself right now if you weren't that patient and strong, i cannot imagine what i will be like right now. I will turn into a weak girl with a weak heart, i will walking anywhere without having any directions and will not dare to decide my goals in life. 
Thank you because right now i'm feeling stronger than i was before...
Thank you because right now i can be more honest than i was before...
Thank you because right now i can be more pride with myself than i was before...
Thank you because right now i am braver than i was before...

Dear myself 21 years go today...
Thank you for surviving well during those hard times...
Thank you for keep guiding me until i found myself...
I'm sorry for treating you badly in the past...
I'm sorry for ignoring you when you were in pain...
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything eventhough it wasn't your faults...
I'm sorry for underestimating you and thinking that everyone's better than you while it isn't true...you don't deserve it! You're the best!

I promise, i will be stronger than you will ever imagine..
I promise, i will be braver to say what i want to say....
I promise, i will seeing myself as a better person and i deserve to be the best...
I promise, i will not wait for happiness to come in my life, but i will create my own happiness...
I promise, i will hold on to my dreams eventhough there's only 0,0001% chance of hope...
I promise, i will be patiently waiting myself to be blossom in the right time...
I promise, i will love you more than i did in the past.....
I promise, i will love you the way you have become....

DEAR MYSELF, I LOVE YOU......